A Gift From Hate

Just like pain, hate is inevitable. I used to really struggle with hate and haters. I wanted everyone to like me. I wanted everyone to be alright with me. To see what I had to offer. Being hated, or rather wanting to not be hated, was connected with a desire to be liked by everyone. …

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Moving From the Practice Brain to the Enjoyment Brain

Practicing does not always mean ‘working on’. It’s important to give yourself time with passions and skills in your life to just simply indulge in the activity. You don’t always need to practice. However I recommend if you’re not going to practice that you also don’t judge. Turn your judgemental brain off and switch gears …

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How to Build Rapport but Not Connection

Open the door for others to share but keep your door closed. Being a good listener is a profound skill and so many are hungry to share and be heard. You can easily be the one with whom everyone shares their secrets and in that cloak you can stay hidden. Love outward but not inward. …

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Dating Your Friends

Recently a friend of mine commented that the only way to make friends in Vancouver was to sleep with them. This may seem like a crass comment, but he was genuinely saying that the closest people in his life are people that he’s been in intimate relationships with. This is not the first time that …

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Hating What You Love

In the pursuit of a passion it’s inevitable that you might have some time where you hate what you love. There are times in both fencing and dancing that I have truly struggled to stay in a place of enjoyment. Meaning I have struggled and failed. I have had days and weeks of being truly …

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Creating Focus and Ease

A few years ago I was in a very high pressure rapier tournament. It was the largest and hardest fought tournament in the Northwest with a list of 50 fencers who were arguably some of the best fencers around competing. On my way down my travel companion asked me “So how do you think you’re …

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Seeing and Being Seen

How special a thing it is to be truly seen and in that seeing to be taken and accepted as you are. I feel this is one of the truest ways we can express love for another. Much of our time as modern humans is spent creating and maintaining a projection of ourselves even to …

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Resonate. Stillness in Life and Dance

I’m so used to filling space. I fill space with plans and work, conversation and music. A quiet space is quickly filled with people and activity. There can be an awkwardness to space. Drawing my partner in, the music feeding our footsteps, my choreography comes to a conclusion and there she is at the end …

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Why Get Better? – Reasons for Mastery

What is your motivation for excelling and improving? Note this is not the question of “why you do this”. There are tons of good reason for that (fun, connection, fitness, etc) but why get better at it? Once you get to a certain level, why pursue greater mastery? One of the most compelling and long …

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Be Emotional, Don’t be Dramatic

Almost every project I have worked on needs more emotion. We’re a culture deprived of healthy emotional expression and connection. Much of what we produce is flat and devoid of true passion and colour. People are hungry for it, our work is hungry for it. Let me make a distinction: Emotional expression is the healthy …

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