Allowing for Asymmetry in Love

I abhor the idea that love must be symmetrical:
“The one who loves the least, has the most control.”

Perhaps this connection of love and control comes from an unhealthy relationship with love. One where we ask love to take over our lives, to rescue us from ourselves, to fill all of our holes and hurts, and then rely on it to do so and stop looking to fill those holes and hurts ourselves; to find love in ourselves.

Being truly vulnerable to someone is a profound and beautiful thing. Does it require that their vulnerability to us be the same in amount or nature? Is it not still profound to allow oneself to open up and truly love someone? To share love without expectation? To enjoy the rewards that loving gives on its own?

I find it also vulnerable to receive love. To allow myself to accept it without condition. To be loved and allow myself to feel however it is I authentically feel toward the lover. Whether that be romantic love, friendship, or kinship.

I want to allow for asymmetry so that I can love and be loved freely. I want to take away all the charge, and layers, and nuance from love because I believe it is fuller without them. That doesn’t mean that it would be devoid of flavour, just that it would be free from restriction and judgment.

I think that we spend so little time having a real and authentic dialog about love that it has become over-complicated. Somehow love has become taboo while pretending to still have innocence.