You can’t truly control others, circumstances, or even your own feelings but you can choose where you place your focus. I recommend placing your focus and your practice (how you challenge and measure yourself) on principles or virtues that can lead you in a powerful direction. I am personally focusing on integrity – the alignment of thought, word, and deed. The beautiful thing about being principle-centric is that every circumstance provides you with an opportunity to practice and no one else can get in the way.
Choose a philosophy that says “By being principle-centric I will create the outcomes I desire.” This is an alternative philosophy to unhealthy philosophies such as “By serving others people will like me.” or “Success will bring me happiness.”
Principle-centricness is inherently process-oriented. It allows you to enjoy and celebrate growth and challenge and avoids the pitfalls of needing ‘success’ to have validation.
In the principle-centric model, the ‘successes’ of your life are the evidence or symptoms of your practice instead of the goal.