When someone is down in the dumps, often the worst thing you can do is try to boost them up with praise. 1. This is often a waste of your breath. If someone is stuck in a negative space, they’re often resistant or even obstructive to efforts to pull them away from their current position. For many, movement out of Read More …
“In your relationships, are you concerned about making others feel good about themselves or are you concerned with making them feel good about you?” This question was posed by David Hoyt, in a recent blog post on John Maxwell’s blog. As a leader I certainly started as the latter and have over time developed myself into the former. In my Read More …
To have a fulfilling life it is essential that you grow. Yet growth is rich with challenge and challenge is inherently uncomfortable because it moves us away from where we are at ease. Operating in this realm of unrest comes naturally to very few, those who are good at playing in this space have developed the skills to do it Read More …
“Speed and perfection are the enemy of hard learning” says Carol Dweck in her insightful book Mindset. When we praise our students for doing things quickly and without error we tell them that speed and perfection are more valuable than challenge and failure. Yet to truly master difficult things we need to put ourselves into the path of challenge and Read More …
I frequently have people tell me that I have a talent for communication and emotional connection. I appreciate hearing this, however I don’t think people realize that these aren’t talents, they’re skills, and I’ve developed them. Talent or a natural inclination to connect with others can certainly give you a good head start. Having a stable upbringing or parents that Read More …
I’ve been helping some friends get ready for job interviews recently. One of the most important things to do in your mind going into an interview — especially if this is a true ‘career opportunity’ you’re pursuing — is to frame the interview to yourself as a two sided event; a two-way interview. Like a first date, both parties want Read More …
It’s easy to jump right to solutions when we intuitively experience a problem. The challenge is that it’s easier and more effective long term to accurately describe the problem first before proceeding. Here’s why: 1. Solutions do not always lead to resolution. If you want a solution that truly fits the problem you’re dealing with you need to know what Read More …
I had a terrible night dancing just recently. A night where I felt completely disconnected from dancing – something that I truly am passionate about. I felt awkward, bored, frustrated, and completely in my head; disconnected from my whole. This is not a new feeling. I have experienced this before with swordplay. It’s something that I talk with my students Read More …
One of the biggest barriers to changing one’s behaviour is the feeling that the new behaviour “isn’t you”. Well the truth is that *it’s not*. At least not yet. If you want to get different results you’re going to need to try different strategies and like learning any new skill these new behaviours are going to feel uncomfortable and wooden Read More …
Being critical of ourselves or others is a pretty common affliction. I say affliction as there are certainly places where we want to be critical and judge the merits of a particular action or interaction. However this type of behaviour often brings an emotional burden to it that shuts down communication both internally and externally. In an interaction between two Read More …