Developing Emotional Skills

I frequently have people tell me that I have a talent for communication and emotional connection. I appreciate hearing this, however I don’t think people realize that these aren’t talents, they’re skills, and I’ve developed them. Talent or a natural inclination to connect with others can certainly give you a good head start. Having a …

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An Interview is not an Audition

I’ve been helping some friends get ready for job interviews recently. One of the most important things to do in your mind going into an interview — especially if this is a true ‘career opportunity’ you’re pursuing — is to frame the interview to yourself as a two sided event; a two-way interview. Like a …

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Don’t Get Too Far Ahead of the Problem

It’s easy to jump right to solutions when we intuitively experience a problem. The challenge is that it’s easier and more effective long term to accurately describe the problem first before proceeding. Here’s why: 1. Solutions do not always lead to resolution. If you want a solution that truly fits the problem you’re dealing with …

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Toughing it Out, Switching Gears, and Taking a Break

I had a terrible night dancing just recently. A night where I felt completely disconnected from dancing – something that I truly am passionate about. I felt awkward, bored, frustrated, and completely in my head; disconnected from my whole. This is not a new feeling. I have experienced this before with swordplay. It’s something that …

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It’s an Act Before It’s the Real You

One of the biggest barriers to changing one’s behaviour is the feeling that the new behaviour “isn’t you”. Well the truth is that *it’s not*. At least not yet. If you want to get different results you’re going to need to try different strategies and like learning any new skill these new behaviours are going …

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Use Curiosity to Trump Judgment

Being critical of ourselves or others is a pretty common affliction. I say affliction as there are certainly places where we want to be critical and judge the merits of a particular action or interaction. However this type of behaviour often brings an emotional burden to it that shuts down communication both internally and externally. …

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Deepen Your Retention By Passing Learning Forward

At the end of my swordplay classes I offer 10 minute blocks of coaching to all of my students. In these 10 minute blocks I do my best to find one important thing to give to a particular student that will be the most impactful for their development as a martial artist. I then ask …

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