I remember when I was married, one of our biggest philosophical challenges was a belief and desire on the part of my wife to make our relationship and our family the centre of our lives. This never functioned for me and in spite all of our love for one another it eventually took us away from each other.

I have never been able to get fully on board with this idea. My dreams, visions and plans are too central in my life to move over for someone. And moving your dreams over is what the conventional middle class western relationship model requires.

I am a big fan of romance, connection, partnership, and long-term committed partnership. However I believe that these relationships and experiences should help support and fuel your movement, and your partner’s movement, toward your life purposes.

Where kids are involved I am a fan of making kids part of your life not the centre of your life. I want my kids to learn from my example and see what it means to truly pursue something with passion. Not learn to sacrifice everything for someone else.

True partnership is not sacrifice or compromise, it is about using your shared resources to do something even greater than you could alone.

The reason I’m posting this is to share with others out there who may be struggling with the conventional to know that you’re not alone. That there are other ways to live your life and partner in meaningful and powerful ways with those around you in a way that supports your dreams and does not force you to choose love or life.