Just like pain, hate is inevitable.

I used to really struggle with hate and haters. I wanted everyone to like me. I wanted everyone to be alright with me. To see what I had to offer.

Being hated, or rather wanting to not be hated, was connected with a desire to be liked by everyone. To legitimize a sense of self-value in the opinions of others. Having people dislike me or see me differently than I wanted to be seen seemed to challenge my own view of myself. Made it seem harder to be right in myself, be good in the worldl Made me feel like the me I saw and wanted to be was somehow less than true.

Being hated has been an odd sort of gift. A challenge to an insecure part of myself that I’ve needed to see. It is so easy to answer hate with hate, or with anger, and in all this be answering it with attention it doesn’t deserve. The attention I want to give is inward. What I want to receive from hate is the view into where I feel small and the opportunity to see, love, and grow those places in myself.