If you’re shut down by a team member or you encounter some behaviour that impedes you in being heard, being your best, or sharing the best expression of you, it behooves you to address that block within the team “When you act in this way it shuts me down”. It is worth the investment and it is in the team’s best interest to address the concern “How do we work together to create an environment where I feel heard? Where I can contribute more fully?” Provided your team member wants you to contribute and shares the same goals (it may be worth establishing this) they have a vested interest to get on board.

As team members we should always be working collaboratively to design the behaviour of our team to be most optimal in supporting the results we want and the values we share. Our team members are our allies and we will be most successful if we address behaviour concerns directly.

Teams should be working to remove social bureaucracy and emphasize integrity and authenticity. Minimize the amount of time that you spend massaging your message, working around egos, and dressing up your ideas by talking openly about the language you use with each other and by making your process for communication more explicit.

In the outside world we don’t have the opportunity to design our interaction with someone. If we encounter a barrier in someone’s behaviour we need to call on our navigation skills to manoeuvre our way through the social situation to reach the ends we want. This interaction, with this person, may only happen once so the investment in optimizing the relationship isn’t worth it. However inside the team every bit of time that you invest in making the structure and process more efficient and more valuable pays off throughout the life of the team.