Our mind is constantly monitoring our safety and security both emotional and physical. Fast reactions to surprising situations can provide us with the adrenaline, reflexes, and responsiveness that we need to create safety. As astronaut Chris Hadfield shared in his recent TED talk at Ted Vancouver, these animal responses can also make things much much worse — especially in space.

In his talk Chris compared the rigorous emergency training that astronauts receive with the idea of intentionally walking through spider webs. The reality is that most spiders that you would encounter in most places are not venomous (though there are at least 3 venomous spiders in BC – Wolf, Hobo, and Black Widow, not just one as he cites) so a panic reaction is truly not warranted. Even if the spider was venomous a calmer demeanour would certainly make the situation better. So with this in mind, if you want to get over this instinctive fear, start intentionally walking through spider webs. After you’ve gone through enough of them, you will begin to overcome this animal response and start to act more rationally in these moments.

We’re only as big as the box we put ourselves in and I feel that the walls of my box are defined strongly by my fears. Fears of rejection, acceptance, failure, and perhaps deceivingly, success. Tim Ferris in his book the 4-Hour Work Week recommends some exercises to get over your social fears like lying down in random places in public such as stores and restaurants. His comment was that after doing this exercise himself dozens of times he discovered that no grand catastrophe befell him; he became liberated from the social constraints that hold so many back from being truly daring and innovative.

A friend of mine who was paralyzed when approaching members of the opposite sex recently started seeing a dating coach. The coach’s first assignment was for him to approach 3 women a day and give them a good experience. Not get their number or have a long conversation, simply to put himself into the situation where he felt most locked up, over and over and over again so he could begin to overcome the irrational fear he harboured.

If you’re going to expand your box, you need to start pushing up against its edges. What are the spider webs that you need to walk through?