In my life it’s very important to feel centred. Centred is to be over my feet and balanced emotionally and spiritually. I often feel pulled on by strong connections. They can tug on the parts of me that feel a need to please others, or when I extend myself vulnerably, or when I receive someone into my closest spaces. When I feel this pull, when I feel off kilter, my instinct is to pull back, to draw away the off centre parts and bring them back over my feet. This means moving away from the person whose connection has stretched me out. This means sometimes leaving that connection, straining it, or reducing it.

This does help one centre. Often when people leave partnerships they experience a feeling of ‘finding themselves’ again. When you recollect into yourself and come back to living ‘for you’ you can recognize the many ways you were pulled apart or allowed yourself to operate off centre in order to find security. Yet the relationship often dies in this process.

Resilient relationships can have space for these oscillations but if you aren’t prepared to move close and stay close the potential for depth may be compromised. It is also our capacity to stay in places of discomfort that expands our ability to grow.

Instead of withdrawing to find centre what does it take to bring your feet under your heart? How can you bring your centre into the place of discomfort? Can you bring wholeness to the places where you feel overextended?

Moving forward into wholeness takes risk because it asks for all of you. As with many things great risks lead to great rewards.