When I was a young boy I remember truly revering my father. He was intelligent and wise, he read to me, shared insights into the world around me. He read me the hobbit, introduced me to Narnia, he taught me how to play cards, play chess, and got me hooked on strategy games. My dad introduced me to computers when Read More …
“You are so smart!” “You have a natural talent!” “You do that so effortlessly!” It can feel wonderful to receive praise but with these types of compliments you may be programming you to avoid risk and seek approval. Carol Dweck in her book Mindset outlines a series of studies of both adults and children that demonstrate how praising someone’s intelligence, Read More …
In a recent conversation with my friend Guy Windsor, he shared a useful thought with me. When you put your work out into the world there are three basic kinds of response you may get: 1. Positive and supportive. “What a great article/book/art piece you’ve shared. This is what I have been looking for.” 2. Critical and supportive. “What you Read More …
What are you avoiding doing right now? So often we shy away from our biggest blocks and challenges even when we know that energy in those places could make a significant and positive impact in our lives. I suggest you make an avoidance list: 1. Document all the things you are currently wrestling with. What things most cause you to Read More …
I have written a couple posts recently that have received many positive comments and a handful of negative ones. Positive comments generally come from a thoughtful place born from a desire to explore and discuss. They are not necessarily expressing viewpoints that agree with mine but share a viewpoint in a way that encourages further thought and discussion. Negative comments Read More …
This talk by Dan Gilbert (http://www.ted.com/talks/dan_gilbert_you_are_always_changing) describes how we believe that our present self will remain essentially the same 10 years into the future — and how we’re wrong. Dan’s talk explores how we often make decisions now thinking that we’ll be happy with those decisions 10 years from now. This stems from an illusion that who we are now Read More …
When you’re freaking out or about to take a terrifying leap; when failure looms and you feel like freezing up; when you’re afraid your best might not be enough; free yourself up from the clutches of worry by leveling with failure. What’s the worst thing that could happen? Sometimes just asking this question is enough to dismiss the worry. You Read More …
To have a fulfilling life it is essential that you grow. Yet growth is rich with challenge and challenge is inherently uncomfortable because it moves us away from where we are at ease. Operating in this realm of unrest comes naturally to very few, those who are good at playing in this space have developed the skills to do it Read More …
I have chosen a life that puts myself and my purpose very central. This choice has often taken me away from larger relationships. It has meant that I play a smaller role in my daughters’ lives. It has meant that lovers have often found themselves not getting enough of me to stay within a partnership. I remember hearing an interview Read More …
It’s easy to see the perfect practice as the one where you don’t make any mistakes; To fence with your friends and celebrate a flawless night; To have the teacher pass by without giving any corrections. Yet we must ask what is the purpose of practice if not to make mistakes? If you’re training without error you must not be Read More …