Fathers and Sons; Teachers and Students

When I was a young boy I remember truly revering my father. He was intelligent and wise, he read to me, shared insights into the world around me. He read me the hobbit, introduced me to Narnia, he taught me how to play cards, play chess, and got me hooked on strategy games. My dad …

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Beware Becoming a Slave to Praise

“You are so smart!” “You have a natural talent!” “You do that so effortlessly!” It can feel wonderful to receive praise but with these types of compliments you may be programming you to avoid risk and seek approval. Carol Dweck in her book Mindset outlines a series of studies of both adults and children that …

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Not Your Audience

In a recent conversation with my friend Guy Windsor, he shared a useful thought with me. When you put your work out into the world there are three basic kinds of response you may get: 1. Positive and supportive. “What a great article/book/art piece you’ve shared. This is what I have been looking for.” 2. …

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Make an Avoidance List

What are you avoiding doing right now? So often we shy away from our biggest blocks and challenges even when we know that energy in those places could make a significant and positive impact in our lives. I suggest you make an avoidance list: 1. Document all the things you are currently wrestling with. What …

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Weathering the Storm – Exposing Yourself to Negative Feedback

I have written a couple posts recently that have received many positive comments and a handful of negative ones. Positive comments generally come from a thoughtful place born from a desire to explore and discuss. They are not necessarily expressing viewpoints that agree with mine but share a viewpoint in a way that encourages further …

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Growth and Death of the Present-Self

This talk by Dan Gilbert (http://www.ted.com/talks/dan_gilbert_you_are_always_changing) describes how we believe that our present self will remain essentially the same 10 years into the future — and how we’re wrong. Dan’s talk explores how we often make decisions now thinking that we’ll be happy with those decisions 10 years from now. This stems from an illusion …

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Levelling with the Worst Case Scenario

When you’re freaking out or about to take a terrifying leap; when failure looms and you feel like freezing up; when you’re afraid your best might not be enough; free yourself up from the clutches of worry by leveling with failure. What’s the worst thing that could happen? Sometimes just asking this question is enough …

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Develop the Skills to Face Challenge and Growth

To have a fulfilling life it is essential that you grow. Yet growth is rich with challenge and challenge is inherently uncomfortable because it moves us away from where we are at ease. Operating in this realm of unrest comes naturally to very few, those who are good at playing in this space have developed …

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Prioritizing Purpose Over Relationships – An Unpopular Choice

I have chosen a life that puts myself and my purpose very central. This choice has often taken me away from larger relationships. It has meant that I play a smaller role in my daughters’ lives. It has meant that lovers have often found themselves not getting enough of me to stay within a partnership. …

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Are You Failing Enough In Your Practice?

It’s easy to see the perfect practice as the one where you don’t make any mistakes; To fence with your friends and celebrate a flawless night; To have the teacher pass by without giving any corrections. Yet we must ask what is the purpose of practice if not to make mistakes? If you’re training without …

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