Sometimes extending trust feels like it requires a leap of ‘faith’ I think more rightly it should be done with a leap of intellect. To extend yourself positively (in good faith as it were) you need to live in a position of choice. You have to ‘act’ with trust. Part of extending trust to another is extending it to yourself “I can risk myself here. I’ll be ok.” When we extend trust as a leap of ‘faith’ we give up our own power and give it away into a potentially precarious situation relying not the ‘hope’ it will work out. It can be an easy excuse to fail and confirm our negative beliefs about the world.
When we make the trust ‘choice’ we can act with wisdom. We can be astute and choose to extend ourselves in a more empowered way. “Trusting here is new to me. I know it will be awkward and uncomfortable. That’s ok.” We can choose how we extend ourselves and plan for success. I know where I am weak in trust and where I am suspicious, why not enter in with this knowledge on the table and make a plan to address my challenges? I can come into the choice of trust knowing that it will not be an instant success and that it is instead a journey with ups and downs, failures, and growth. Leaps of faith tend to be 0-sum games where we’re either caught or we crash.
When we make the choice of trust we can choose to evaluate the outcomes in a more holistic manner. We can ask if a failure of trust truly warrants a confirmation that trusting is a bad thing. We can take greater ownership over the extension of trust and ask “How can I trust better next time?” We can truly get better at trusting not just in the act of doing it but in how we extend and offer ourselves, how we recognize our own vulnerabilities and build on them, and in how we trust ourselves.
Next time you find an opportunity to extend trust. Put your faith in choice.