It’s easy to put expectation on a moment as it happens. To be in a connection and start asking questions “What does this mean?”, “How should I act here?”, “What’s expected of me?”. To retreat into our minds. Into the ticker tape behind our eyes.
It’s perhaps a necessary part of our path of growth to develop systems of protection as we mature. To learn from pain and challenge that have come from previous moments and try to make the next moment like it better or easier, to protect ourselves from potential pain. But as we develop these systems they start to become more than the moment itself. To buffer us from experience altogether and from learning and richness.
As we mature there comes a time to return to those moments. To prioritize the experience over the system. To say to our brain “Yes brain, you have done so much to serve me. Yet what am I here for other than to experience?” From this place of self-reference it’s time to choose noticing. To choose feeling, and hearing, touching and tasting. To put the tools and defences aside and honour the moment.
I’m not advocating acting thoughtlessly or carelessly, simply to allow yourself to notice and respond. Use your maturity and your brain to create situations that don’t require managing in the first place. Sincerely choose your circumstance and then embrace it.