I appreciate people who are assertive. Particularly when it comes to looking after their own boundaries and needs. Especially if I’m the one who might be treading on them.
Supporting the assertiveness of those around you has a number of benefits:
1. If the people around you look after themselves, you don’t have to.
The best person to look after your needs is you. You know them best and are best able to manage how and when to meet them. When I can trust that you’re looking after your needs I can devote more of my time to our work together and less to checking in with you.
Sometimes this kind of trust requires that you exercise some assertiveness to remind someone of your space and needs when they forget or don’t know.
2. Unassertive People Become Unhappy People.
Having a bunch of malleable Yes-men around you can be pleasurable for a time but gradually the person who is not managing their boundaries is gradually becoming either resentful or downtrodden. Resentful and downtrodden people do not make good partners. Helping people be assertive is helping people create their own happiness.
3. Assertive People Aren’t Afraid to Tell You the Truth.
You want friends, staff, and team-members who aren’t afraid to tell you what you need to hear even when it makes you angry. Information can be painful but lack of it can be damaging.
Encourage and celebrate the assertiveness of those around you and be mindful that it takes practice to learn to be direct without being a jerk. Give feedback but make sure you don’t shut down the burgeoning fire in someone just because it was easier when they were quieter.