When Others Shine, I Gain

“When others shine. I gain.”

This is a shift I made in my own personal philosophy recently and it felt important to write more about it.

I believe in choosing your philosophy. I feel that all transformation requires a shift at the deepest level. Your philosophical view of the world and then the strategy you embody based on that view. If you don’t make the change at this level it’s hard to do anything above it on the ladder of your actions without lapsing back to your deeper beliefs sooner or later.

If your philosophy says the world is a cruel place. It will be hard to become gentle. No matter how much you practice. You have to try on a new philosophy first. Express the philosophy you would like to live and then start to embody that philosophy in your actions.

When I take on a new philosophy like this one, it becomes a mantra for me. I have to willingly try it on, even if it feels wrong. The old philosophy only ‘feels right’ because I’m used to it. Don’t confuse comfort for truth.

This new philosophy also becomes a root for new internal dialog. This dialog is how I open myself to changes in action and worldview at a higher level. I’ll share some of my internal discussion now.

“When others shine. I gain.” How do I know when someone wins an award, or beats me in a tournament, or stands out in my crowd that I am going to gain by it? I might not be able to trace an immediate link to my own gain very easily. But *why not* believe this?

Having a belief that their gain somehow hurts me leads me to be small, act jealously, beat up on myself, act with anger and unfairness, and many other negative things. It also just feels lousy. I miss out on feeling good. I know that these outcomes from that philosophy definitely DO hurt me. The direct link is not hard to see.

If I believe that I will gain from their success I will immediately feel joy. Which is nice just on its own. I will be open to receiving good things for myself — and I know from experience that when I’m open to things I’m more likely to get them. I will be able to genuinely connect with those who do succeed and thus be more open to forming real connection with them – this can only lead to good things, they are successful after all. I don’t know all the ways that their success might lift me up, challenge me to be even greater, or move me in a new positive path but why not have faith that it will. Being scarcity minded gave me no special control or clairvoyance over the future either, just sour grapes in the present.

I’m looking forward to rooting out the places in me where this old thinking has lived and filling it with this new more abundant philosophy.