One of my greatest challenges in growing up has been recognizing that it is more important to have someone’s respect than their friendliness. When I use the word respect I’m not talking about a deference built from fear but a genuine positive regard for another. It is easy to act in a friendly manner toward someone without truly respecting them. Read More …
This week I have put it before myself to do something big each day. To dare. To risk. To move beyond my comfort zone. That topic has me thinking about my relationship with insecurity. In Mating in Captivity, author Esther Perel, talks to the conflict that comes between our desire to create comfort and security in our romantic relationships while Read More …
It’s easy to get caught in the myriad of tasks. The thousands of little things that can be done each day. The routine of your regular way of doing things or a pattern of comfortable procrastination. What if you did one big thing each day? One thing that challenged you or scared you. One thing that put a cornerstone piece Read More …
I’m a fan of changing my thinking or philosophy through mantras. My current system involves choosing an area of focus and putting a positive statement about that area on my todo list. Everyday when I hit that item I stop and consider that mantra and try to carry it with me through the rest of the day. These mantras have Read More …
I’m reading an excellent book right now, Mating in Captivity by Esther Perel. The book does a beautiful job of exploring the dichotomies in our relationship between love and sexuality. One of the main topics of exploration in the book is the often inherent conflict that comes between creating security and calm in a romantic partnership while trying to maintain Read More …
When someone is down in the dumps, often the worst thing you can do is try to boost them up with praise. 1. This is often a waste of your breath. If someone is stuck in a negative space, they’re often resistant or even obstructive to efforts to pull them away from their current position. For many, movement out of Read More …
You can’t truly control others, circumstances, or even your own feelings but you can choose where you place your focus. I recommend placing your focus and your practice (how you challenge and measure yourself) on principles or virtues that can lead you in a powerful direction. I am personally focusing on integrity – the alignment of thought, word, and deed. Read More …
“In your relationships, are you concerned about making others feel good about themselves or are you concerned with making them feel good about you?” This question was posed by David Hoyt, in a recent blog post on John Maxwell’s blog. As a leader I certainly started as the latter and have over time developed myself into the former. In my Read More …
I appreciate people who are assertive. Particularly when it comes to looking after their own boundaries and needs. Especially if I’m the one who might be treading on them. Supporting the assertiveness of those around you has a number of benefits: 1. If the people around you look after themselves, you don’t have to. The best person to look after Read More …
Is talking the best way to build intimacy? We put so much emphasis in our modern loving relationships on expressing our souls through our words. Knowing and being known through our ability to express our emotions in prose. I am fortunate that I have always been a good speaker; however even with that, I have had to learn to express Read More …